Devan Moonsamy 

At some point of our career, we will find ourselves in the presence of a co-worker who is constantly complaining. The moment something doesn’t go their way, they have to start throwing their toys out of the cot. This can be very difficult to handle in the workplace because try as much as we want to avoid it, negative energy is contagious. 

The office complainer might always look for an opportunity to let out at any one willing to listen about how frustrated they are in the workplace. Inevitably, when a non-complainer co-worker suggests the complaining co-worker leave the organisation, then this is met by shock and horror. The complainer co-worker usually just wants someone to agree with them and see things from their perspective. The complaining co-worker might not take to advice, guidance and optimism with a positive outlook. 

This can make things very difficult for the rest of the team. There will always be a negative vibe in the office as the office spirit might need major improving and most importantly if there are any planned extra-curricular activities, there will always be received negatively by the complainer. 

Here’s how to handle the office complainer without letting bad vibes and moods spread onto others:

  • Before we call out the office complainer for their behaviour, let us try to put ourselves in their shoes. It is very helpful to understand why the person might be complaining as this can help us see their grievance. An office complainer might just be looking for someone to listen to them or they might want to get their message out there because they have a legitimate grievance and don’t know how to go about addressing it. Most times complaining comes from a place where people feel there isn’t a way to get their problem solved.  
  • If you find that whenever you are with a co-worker, they vent to you then perhaps it is time to call them out on this behaviour. The next time the person starts complaining speak to them about how it makes you feel. If you do have a close relationship with them then chances are you would be able to better let them down on this constant badgering. By doing this, you also allow yourself to reset the relationship you have with your co-workers. You are able to see if you are always the co-worker, they turn to in order to vent. If this is the case then perhaps you would need to set boundaries. 
  • On the other hand, if you don’t have a close relationship then it might just be easier for you to leave the conversation. You can validate their complaint with, “I hear what you are saying,” and then excuse yourself on pretence of a deadline. But if you really don’t want to engage or entertain this sort of thing, politely excuse yourself and the complainer would surely get the message that you don’t appreciate these types of conversations. 
  • In some instances, the need to complain might form part of a strategy to get work completed. A co-worker that complains regularly might use this as a process to get their issues out on the table in a bid to start working towards solving those problems. In other cases, complaining might be a plea to get advice or help on a difficult task at work. Whichever the case, if your goal is to help your colleague that is complaining ask them questions around the challenges and try to establish how you can help them. Encourage your colleague to also take their concerns to management and address some of those concerns in meetings. You won’t always be able to afford a solution and in some cases having a professional platform to discuss legitimate concerns is what is needed to help prevent further work issues. 

Devan Moonsamy is the CEO of ICHAF Training Institute, a South African TVET College. He is the author of Racism, Classism, Sexism, And The Other ISMs That Divide Us, AND My Leadership Legacy Journal available from the ICHAF Training Institute. 

The ICHAF Training Institute offers SETA-approved training in business skills, computer use, and soft skills. Devan specialises in conflict and diversity management, and regularly conducts seminars on these issues for corporates. To book a seminar with Devan or for other training courses, please use the contact details below.

Tel: 011 262 2461 | 083 303 9159 |

Email: admin@ichaftraining.co.za devan@ichaftraining.co.za | 

Website: www.ichaftraining.co.za |  www.devan-moonsamy.com